Friday, September 14, 2007

Love At First Sight

We have a green light! Well, at least we have permission to birth at home!

Today we, my girlfriend Bethany, Lucy (her daughter) and I, took a little road trip to see the Consulting Doctor. The 1 hr and a half drive was nice, we caught up with girl gab and laughed at the cute things Lucy was doing. We arrived in plenty of time to spare. My UA (pee test) was clear on all counts, a good thing. My blood work, Hematocrit, was at 40% (to find the Hemoglobin, divide 40 by 3 = 13.3; remember I was concerned for this to be a minimum of 11.5- fhhhhhew!) So that was a relief. My Blood pressure and general health are fine, check check check, and the baby is a good size for my dates and in good position (head down).

Now, because I love my husband and want only for him to have peace of mind, I requested she do an Ultrasound. I have never been keen on ultrasound procedures, thus I have never had one. Steve has recently been studying Obstetrics and was exposed to rare but serious things involving the afterbirth, and was just wanting reassurance that it 'lay' in an appropriate place. So, after listening to the babies heartbeat which sounded wonderful as always, Leah (the CNM) whipped out the US goop and went to work. I had prefaced all of this with, "#1 we do NOT want to know the gender and #2 I don't want to see anything on the screen as it is not fair that I see the baby before Steve does." So respectfully she agreed.

She proceeded to tell me about the location in question-- posterior and to the left, up high (a great place for afterbirth.) And she checked the baby.

"There is the babies heart, looks great, four chambers, nothing wrong! And the spine is well formed. The umbilical cord has 3 vessels... normal. The eyes look good--"

At that moment I said, "You can see it's face???"

"Yes, and everything looks normal. The bladder is developed well, and their are two kidneys. The baby looks great!"

As I laid there, with my arm over my face it just simply stunned me at how marvelous God's creation is. There is a little person inside me. Many times before I had visualized the body and the tushy (gender-neutral of course) and it's little feet pressing into my ribs, and even it's shoulders twisting and boxing with my bladder. But I simply had never been able to 'see' the gender or the face. To be perfectly honest I was jealous that someone else had seen the face of my child before Steve or I did. We created this little bundle of joy and he- she- it... whatever it may be is ours to discover. But of course that did not dampen my mood of sheer relief that we were given the green light for birthing at home.
As we exited the building I told Bethany 'we had to go google a 36 week ultrasound so I could see the details she described.' But as I thought more about it, I decided I do not need to see anything on an ultrasound screen because when the time is right, Steve and I will share the most precious moment in all of history- when the moment our child comes into the light we can be the first look into his/her eyes and see for real. Face to face.

It reminds me of the Bible verse, 1 Corinthians 13:12-13,
Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

I cannot wait for that perfect moment of love and sight. It will be worth it all- the 9 month wait, muscle cramps, dietary restrictions... and labor; it will be worth it all!

That will be the true definition of love at first sight.

1 comment:

Charis & Judah's Mom said...

I have apicture that Abe took of the moment I first realized I was the parent of a beautiful baby girl. It is a little too revealing for public consumption, but the look on my face in the photo brings it all back, and that picture is one of my most valued possessions. I am so, so very excited for you to have that moment! It will change you forever.